Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
