Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
