So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
