question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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