is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
