Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
