hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
