help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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