Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
