Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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