My sheets look like a crime scene.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
