Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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