Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
