nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
