KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
