Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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