its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
