I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
