i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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