Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
pray to the hookup gods
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
