I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
