i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
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