Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm jealous of your bromance
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
