He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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