i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
