it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
