so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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