4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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