Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
