one might say we're banned from that church
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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