I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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