That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
