arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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