she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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