Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
