hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
