When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
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