New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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