I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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