Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
