I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
