dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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