I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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