I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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