what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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