I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
