how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Randomize
