and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
