ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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