I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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