3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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