is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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