no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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