What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize