I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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