i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
