how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i wish my penis had a tongue
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
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