I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
