Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Randomize