She is in my trunk
my sisters under your porch take her home
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
