Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
They should really pass out barf bags in church
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
