I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
