I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
