im six kinds of drunk right now
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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