Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
