I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
