Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
