I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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