I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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