We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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